The Boys Are Back in Town

Before diving into the Cowboys/Broncos game from this past weekend, I have 3 comments on the Olympics I need to get off my chest:

• First a shout out of congratulations to Walter Dix. As someone who also spent many, many hours almost killing myself on the Mike Long track, I take immense pride in a fellow Nole coming up so huge on the largest stage in the world. Congrats Walter, good luck in the 200. Even Alachua county is rooting for you this time.
• Second, I am happy to report that despite hours of brainwashing by Al Trautwig and Tim Daggett I feel even stronger than ever that all judged events have no place in the Olympics. The ridiculousness that is endured on a nightly basis where no one can understand or explain why one competitor wins over another is absolutely ludicrous. Add in that whole tie-break fiasco and I most certainly won’t be counting the days until the next gymnastics meet. Since when would it be so bad that two competitors who performed equally well both get gold?
  • Can you imagine if this was applied to other sports? Like track? “Well, it looks like the two Jamaicans have tied for second in the women’s 100 here at the Bird’s Nest. And the judges have awarded the silver to Kerron Stewart for having a quicker start out of the blocks and maintaining better form over the first 50 meters.”
• Finally, did you see that coach for U.S. Pole Vaulter Jenn Stuczynski, after she won the silver? I won’t recap it here (this does a great job of summarizing both the incident and my reaction to it). Two points though:
  • Think what you will about gymnastics or diving (as I clearly do), you have to give the coaches a ton of credit. No matter how bad of a belly flop or face plant is performed by one of the athletes; the coaches are always there with a hug, high-five and words of encouragement. There is no underestimating how important that is to these athletes.
  • Jenn, since clearly your coach won’t say it, let me just say: congratulations. Fantastic job. There is no shame in losing to the greatest athlete of all time in your event (who set a world record during the event). You did a great job. When you come to your senses and ditch whats-his-name, try giving Dennis Nobles a call. As for coach, well let me just say I hope he finds some enjoyment from his time in Beijing. After that performance I can’t imagine a lot of world class athletes will be beating down his door.

Whew I feel better. Ok, on to the game.

With less than a week until my fantasy draft I find myself having a hard time watching football games without constantly looking at it from the fantasy perspective. With that in mind, I decided to review the game from the fantasy point of view.

Quarterback

Broncos – In case you haven’t noticed (and you probably haven’t), Jay Cutler is having a great pre-season. He started off against the Cowboys with 12 straight completions and finished 16 of 20 for 178 yards and a touchdown. Yes, this was against everyone’s Super Bowl favorite Cowboys defense. He picked them apart. While he may not be in the top tier of quarterbacks, with the Broncos weak schedule, he has to be a strong consideration for a spot start in case of injury or bye week. Especially after the first two weeks when he gets Brandon Marshall back.

Cowboys – I’m not sure if Tony confused ‘pre-season’ with ‘post-season’ but Romo didn’t look real sharp. While there was absolutely no pressure from the Bronco defense (shocking, I know), Tony still didn’t do much. He ended the day 6 of 9 for 33 yards. Part of this was the clock eating drives of the Broncos early in the game but clearly he had no luck going downfield in his couple drives (long of 10 yards). I know he is a top four fantasy quarterback, but I think fantasy owners are going to need to be willing to suck up a few dreadful weeks to get those outstanding weeks.

Running Back

Broncos – You got me. Seriously, I got nothing. I can’t even tell you who to talk about, let alone how they are going to do. Andre Hall and Selvin Young are both getting equal time with the first team and both look equally good. Based on his stats last year you would lean toward Young, but given his history of injuries and Mike Shanahan’s love of screwing fantasy running back owners, I don’t think either of these guys have upside worthy of wasting a high draft pick oh him. If someone gambles on Young way-too-early in the draft I might pick up Hall late (do you really need that second defense?) and stash him on the bench to see how many carries he gets those first few weeks. Don’t forget everyone’s summer crush Ryan Torain will be back just in time to ruin someone’s fantasy playoff performance and there is also Anthony Alridge who should get some of those valuable swing passes and sweeps each game.

Cowboys – Marion Barber is a consensus late first round pick. Call me as conservative as Bill O’Reilly but I tend to want my first round picks to be the clear number one on their teams. The more I have seen both Hard Knocks and the Cowboys play the more and more convinced I am that Felix Jones is going to be the scourge of all Barber owners. Jones is going to get carries and passes this season. Remember Duce Staley? Brian Westbrook’s rookie year, Duce had over 1500 yards from scrimmage. The following year he had 845. You think Jerry Jones will keep his fellow Arkansas alum off the field as much as Westbrook that rookie year? Sure Marion will get the majority of the goal line carries which helps his value but don’t say I didn’t warn you when he is right back sharing time with Felix Jones.

Wide Receiver

Broncos – In case you didn’t get the subtle hints from my training camp time, Brandon Marshall is going to see a lot of balls coming his way this year (Cowboy game: 6 catches, 59 yards and 1 touchdown in less than two quarters). If the Broncos can find another threat during Marshall’s suspension that will keep teams from focusing on him, Marshall should have a big year. On the other side, Eddie Royal has been one of the breakout stars of Bronco camp and the Cowboy game (2 receptions for 67 yards) and has the inside track to playing opposite Marshall all year. He better play well, as for the rest of his career I will be comparing Eddie to DeSean Jackson – a similar player with better collegiate career who the Broncos passed on for Eddie. DeSean had 6 catches for 70 yards in Philly’s game against the Panthers on Friday. Just sayin.

Cowboys – T.O. is….T.O. He had a relatively quiet night against the Broncos (3 catches, 20 yards) but by this point we know what we are getting from T.O. As long as Romo has as much time as he did against the Broncos, Owens will have a big year. It would be helpful if the Cowboys could find a partner for him to take some of the attention but I don’t think Patrick Crayton (big, fat goose-egg on the catches) is striking fear in the hearts of too many defensive coordinators. Miles Austin had the biggest play – a 37 yard touchdown pass from Brad Johnson but then got injured and can’t really be considered a fantasy option until he takes Crayton’s job.

Tight End

Broncos – To me this is the most interesting position for the Broncos. The fantasy experts love Tony Scheffler and I’m not sure why. Yes, he has finished the last two seasons on fire but throughout camp and the two pre-season games he seems to be the Broncos third tight end. First is Daniel Graham, primarily for his blocking ability, though he still had 24 catches last year. Second has been Nate Jackson, who actually has more rececptions than Scheffler so far this year. In fact, Scheffler didn’t really start getting lots of balls until Jackson hit the IR last year. If Jackson is a better blocker than Scheffler than won’t he get the majority of snaps when the Broncos are keeping run and pass options open (like, for example – inside the 5 yard line)? If Scheffler screams “PASSS” to the other defense, doesn’t that limit his effectiveness and fantasy value? I am no fantasy expert, what do I know. I just think when I am looking for a tight end I would rather have a clear number one like Heath Miller or Alge Crumpler, who are rated below Scheffler.

Cowboys – Speaking of clear number ones, the Cowboys have Jason Witten. While he didn’t do much against the Broncos (zero catches), Romo’s vacation buddy is clearly one of the top five tight ends in the game (is it getting monotonous saying that every Cowboy offensive player didn’t do much? Sorry, you should have seen the game – yawn). Interestingly, the break out player of the game for the Cowboys was Rodney Hannah who had 4 catches for 52 yards. I have no idea how the Cowboys would fit him in, but he looked darn good – big and quick.

Defense

Broncos – If you are seriously considering drafting the Broncos defense after their performance last season, you need more help than I could ever provide. Despite, the Cowboys struggles, you need to remember that the Broncos defensive line is young, suspect and ineffective; their linebackers are unproven and the secondary is a combination of new or unhealthy. Other than that they are really solid.

Cowboys – Much like everyone else on ‘America’s Team’ the Cowboys defense is heavily hyped. Not that allowing the Broncos to march up and down the field, putting no pressure on the quarterback and giving up fourteen points in a quarter will change the hype. But I would think at a minimum it has to give someone drafting the Cowboys defense a moment’s pause.

Kickers

Does it really matter? All kickers are pretty much the same. Argue with me only if you spent a draft pick on Mason Crosby a year ago knowing that he would be the highest scoring kicker in the league.

Having said that, Matt ‘Brian Griese’ Prater hasn’t exactly been a model of consistency so far this season.

Actually, strike that, he has missed the first field goal of both games so far, he has been very consistent.

NBC’s Unconscionable East Coast Bias

I try to be tactful and respectful when leveling criticism at those who deserve it. Today, however that goes out the window. If someone screws up something that only occurs every four years, then I am allowed a once-every-four-years disrespectful moment.

NBC Sports is run by a bunch of lying, self-important morons.

How else to explain the inexplicable decision to tape delay all Olympic events for both mountain and pacific time zones yet present them as if they were live?

To be fair, let’s return to my comment above and break down each element of the name-calling and why it is appropriate in this context:

Lying – Every time I see that little ‘Live’ in the corner of my screen and hear an announcer talk about showing us some event live I get a little more insulted. Late, late last night, I had the surreal experience of having msnbc.com’s homepage up on my computer trumpeting the U.S. women taking gold and silver in the gymnastics all-around while at the same time my TV sat in the background with the ‘live’ telecast of the floor exercise – the final and deciding event. Needless to say I didn’t exactly hold my breath on each of Nastia Liuken’s tumbling passes.

NOTE: Am I the only one that finds her dad just a little bit creepy? I’m afraid that the next time we see them he will be applying sunscreen in unmentionable places.

Self-Important – If it wasn’t bad enough that we have a graphic to tell us that something we are watching is live when it isn’t, then it gets worse every time one of NBC’s announcers open their mouths. Bob Costas, Dan Hicks and Al Trautwig seem to be contractually obligated to remind us 437 times every hour how fantastic it is that NBC has been able to bring us these medal events live from Beijing. I am sure that the athletes are absolutely thrilled to have the most important moment of their lives before lunch, because that is so common for sporting events. Oh, and did I mention that for roughly half the country all of this patting on the back by NBC announcers, is completely and totally untrue?

Morons – What is most amazing about this fiasco is that there seem to be very simple remedies to the situation, yet NBC execs aren’t smart enough to figure them out or decided it would be easier to just insult half of the country:

1 – Change the graphic – If something is not live; quit telling us it is live. Put up a ‘Previously Recorded’ or just take away the graphic completely if you want to maintain the illusion with a little more subtlety.

2 – Interrupt for live events – Would it really kill us to interrupt the 8-hour old beach volleyball or synchronized diving tape to show a live event? One of Michael Phelps’ races take less time than a commercial break, we couldn’t bounce away from diving long enough to show it really, honestly live and then go back?

Of course there is one good reason to not show these events live – good old fashioned greed. If the marquee events of the night are completed earlier, then you might turn off their 47 hours of coverage you don’t care about. By making you stay up to midnight to see the one or two events you actually care about, NBC is forcing the other 4 hours of coverage down your throat first.

But what if it backfires? What if instead of sitting through more diving, we all turn away and then come in only for the events we care about? Last night, I got caught up on Generation Kill on-demand (a phenomenal show by the way) and only checked in on the Olympics to watch Phelps. I happened to finish the most recent episode just as gymnastics was hitting the final rotation so I could have the experience described above. It was 11:45 MT by the way. I am sure the parents of all the little girls dreaming of becoming the next Nastia were thrilled to keep their daughters up to midnight.

You can even take this further by checking the results first and then deciding whether to tune in or not. One of your beloved Americans chokes? Why waste time watching that. Find out what happens and go watch something else. Heck, if you spend any time on a computer or flip channels you are probably going to find out anyway. In just the first week I have already found out several of the swimming and gymnastics results before seeing a moment of footage. Some of them coming with the results posted on ESPN.com (an occupational hazard) as well as the results running during other programs (Monday Night Football for example). Thankfully the best moment of the games so far – the 4×100 fresstyle relay – I was able to enjoy completely innocently because I happened to be at my parents’ house which is the technological equivalent of 1993.

So will NBC learn or change their bone-headed approach? Probably not. The Olympics come once every four years; they know we are going to turn in. They can screw with us as much as they want and know we will simply say ‘thank you sir, may I have another’. Well, not me. I am done with spending my evening watching their coverage except for the few moments I want to see (the 100 takes less than 10 seconds to run).  If maybe a few more of us in the mountains or on Pacific coast take this approach they will get it through their thick ‘New York–is-the-center-of-the-universe’ minds.

Thankfully in just over a week we can go back to completely ignoring NBC Sports outside of 3 hours every Sunday night.

You will get no complaints from me if they decide to tape delay Notre Dame games.

Tape Delays until 1 am sound about right.

The Hard Knocks Effect

This must be what middle age does to you.

Sure, I have not yet technically hit middle age quite yet but I have noticed some changes. Maybe not changes quite as obvious as the annoying hair like that last ‘change’ about twenty years ago but there are changes nonetheless.

The first hint was when I found myself on occasion rooting for a Steve Spurrier coached team.

I know – it scares me too.

Just a decade ago, literally my entire week could be made by a Spurrier visor being ripped off his head and thrown to the turf. There was nothing I loathed more in this world than Spurrier (well, almost nothing. Ever smell someone throw up? Yeech).

Even five years ago, when he joined me in D.C. as the coach of the Redskins and the Super Bowl hype went through the roof, I enjoyed nothing more than watch his pathetic press conferences as the never-ending arrogance was slowly chipped off him like the funk in that disturbing Axe body wash commercial.

But now that he has left the Swamp and Fed Ex Field behind and become the relatively harmless coach of the Gamecocks, I have come to enjoy his antics and his taunting.

If this is maturity…I don’t like it.

So now that I wear my visor in concert with Spurrier (occasionally), I have noticed another equally frightening development over the last week. I…. (gulp)…(deep breaths)…almost like the Cowboys.

Damn you HBO.

For those of you not willing to pay HBO’s extortionate rates, the Cowboys are the subjects of this year’s Hard Knocks, HBO’s sort-of annual behind the scenes look at one NFL team’s training camp. Last year we were subjected to Herm Edwards’ endless stadium step running and his underachieving, uninteresting Kansas City Chiefs. Given the Chiefs are the fierce rival of my boys in blue and orange it was never a concern I would find myself cheering for them. In fact, a full year later, still the only redeeming quality of my hours of Hard Knocks viewing was my introduction to Mrs. Brody Croyle. When Brody is inevitably waived and his NFL career ends, I will be here to console her.

But this year is different. While I have always hated the Cowboys and reveled in their annual playoff failures, I have found myself enjoying the series and have come to start to like some of the players, even T.O.. Yes, the scourge of the Forty-Niners, Eagles and Skip Bayless comes across almost exactly like you would almost never expect – relaxed, having fun and coming across as a good guy. His stuffing of Jerry Jones’ grandson in a bucket of ice water was one of the best moments on TV not involving Michael Phelps in the last month.  

NOTE: Did you ever think we would see a summer in which the two greatest sporting moments would be a tennis match and a swimming relay race? I don’t even know what to think about this. But I have to admit, I am a little frightened.

All of this begs the question – if even I can feel a small ember of warmth in the cold of my heart for the Cowboys, why don’t more teams give fans a behind-the-scenes look at the team, so we start to realize that these guys (despite all outward appearances) are human?

Brian Billick was a genius at this. As the participant in the initial Hard Knocks after the Ravens Super Bowl win in 2001 and then allowing John Feinstein unlimited access for the book Next Man Up during the 2004 season, Billick seems to have realized long ago that being open and honest with the media and your fans goes a lot further then being secretive and paranoid.

It could probably even be argued that Billick’s persona kept him in the job of Ravens coach for a season or two longer than he would have if he viewed the NFL on par with national secrets like some of his coaching brethren.

It is a simple fact that it is much easier to complain about and disagree with faceless football uniforms or maniacal coaches on the sideline than someone you feel like you know personally.

Look at the rise of the internet. It is a lot easier to be mean, rude and insulting from the safety of your keyboard – not that I know anything about that. In a face-to-face conversation a lot of those inept, incompetent and insulting comments posted on the internet would probably never see the light of day.

I am as critical on Mike Shanahan as anyone and much of that can be traced directly to his secrecy and his seeming belief that he knows better than anyone else all of the time. A little transparency and openness might make his decisions a little easier to understand.

Unless he keeps reading playbooks while on vacation. That is just sad.

Just reading the book mentioned the other day – A Few Seconds of Panic – provides more understanding of Shanahan and the decisions he makes than anything else we as fans ever get to see. I still may not agree with some of his decisions but I have a better understanding of how he arrived at them.

Isn’t that all we ask for as fans?

So while I still may think that Wade Phillips and Tony Romo will never lead the Cowboys to a Super Bowl title, I can at least understand why this team improved drastically under Phillips last year and I can understand why despite his public antics, T.O. is one of the best receivers in the game.

And to answer the un-asked question:

Yes, I think Bill Belichick would still be a total jerk if New England participated on Hard Knocks.

It’s a Lone Star State Showdown!

Password: new england clam chowder

That’s right kids, I am back from my weeklong backwoods retreat. I must admit it is quite liberating to get away from your cell phone and laptop for a few days. Life is much simpler when your biggest concerns are the weather on the horizon, avoiding jet skis in your kayak and identifying the right lure color or fly pattern.

Of course, it figures that I am gone when the national crisis also known as the Brett Favre situation is resolved. The Jets huh? Maybe the Jets figure the only way to beat New England and their AARP-card carrying defense is to have a quarterback that is even older.

At least in New York, Brett’s every move won’t be scrutinized by the press. We should put the over/under on the number of weeks into the season the New York Post makes some horrible pun about the Favre era being a disappointment on its back page. I set it at week 4 right now.

Oh and for all you idiots that set a single day record for buying Favre Jets jerseys on NFL.com? I have a Joe Namath - Rams jersey, O.J. Simpson – 49ers jersey, Tony Dorsett – Broncos jersey, Jerry Rice - Seahawks jersey, Joe Montana – Chiefs jersey, and Emmitt Smith – Cardinals jersey for you. All for the low-low price of $299 each.

Anyway, no reason to beat a dead Favre, that is old news. Last night we had our first live action of your Denver Broncos, in a riveting pre-season game against the Houston Texans (and our old friend head coach Gary Kubiak – or Koobs to some of us). So what did we learn? I’m glad you asked.

• While it is hard to learn much from the two short series by the offense there were a couple things that jumped out at me.
  • Where was the running game? Selvin Young’s 3 yards on 4 carries didn’t exactly inspire confidence that the Broncos running game has returned to its former glory.
  • As if by admission that they couldn’t run, there were a lot of short passes into the flats, especially to running backs out of the backfield. I’ve send this offense before. It is the ‘running game’ that FSU used to run. No, not the offense in those 14 straight years of top-five finishes. That would be the offense in those two straight years of 6 losses. Not that I am saying that is what could happen to the Broncos. There is little chance they have only 6 losses this year.
  • Now that the suspension has been handed down by the Commish it is interesting to see the Broncos make the conscious effort to not throw to Brandon Marshall. Young and Eddie Royal (promoted to starter with Darrell Jackson moving over to Marshall’s position) just jumped about 2 rounds in fantasy drafts this coming week.
• How about poor Matt Prater? Misses his first field goal attempt – a thirty yarder – causing roughly 437,896 Bronco fans mutter ‘I knew we never should’ve let Elam go’. Should we just nickname him Brian Griese right now? Ok, done.
• Speaking of former Bronco quarterbacks, I am reading Stefan Fatsis’s book ‘A Few Seconds of Panic’ right now. A fascinating look at the 2006 Broncos by a Wall Street Journal writer who spent training camp as a kicker with the team. Highly recommended reading, but I just read a chapter focusing on Jake Plummer (this was the year they had just drafted Cutler to replace Jake after he guided the team to the AFC Title game). It was nice to see that my long held feelings about Plummer (here and here) were validated. As were my feelings about Mark Kiszla, the second worst sports writer in Denver (congratulations Bernie Lincicome!).
• I haven’t spoken to Turner yet but I am sure he was thrilled with former Sooner Larry Birdine making a nice defensive play in the last minute. Unfortunately Gary Miller, probably the worst play-by-play announcer in all of pre-season football screwed up his number so his moment of glory was short lived.
• Not to toot my horn but – toot, toot – my two early picks for sleepers of camp played well (and even got mentioned by Woody Paige today, the best sportswriter in Denver). Anthony Alridge accounted for 40 yards of offense and another 23 on a kick-off return, flashing that 4.3 speed for the home folks. The only blip was a fumble, but if he can keep it from becoming a habit he should be ok. My boy Christian Morton accounted for six tackles and a sack in a secondary that was depleted with injuries and resting starters. Next week when he shuts down T.O. you will see (ok, that probably isn’t happening).
• My final note is a shout out to Wesley Woodyard, the leading tackler for the Broncos, a rookie out of Kentucky. Why are we still surprised by productive college players who don’t have the ‘right’ measurables looking good in the pros? Woodyard was the defensive leader on last year’s resurgent Wildcat team and recorded over 100 tackles in each of his final 3 seasons in college in the SEC (as we are told 453 times each fall, the best conference in college football).
• So why did he go undrafted? Apparently he is considered small (6’0”, 230 lbs) and a little slow (4.5 40-yard dash). Hmm, let’s pick a random former Bronco linebacker for comparison.
  • There was one player that was close to his size (6’0”, 240 lbs) and speed (4.56 40-yard dash coming out of college) and was the defensive leader for a strong SEC team (ironically that also beat FSU in a bowl game in the player’s senior year).
  • But why would we want another player to have a career like Al Wilson? He was a total bust – only a 5 time Pro-Bowler and the heart and soul of an AFC championship game team. Nah, why would anyone want that type of guy on their team.

My Week at Summer Camp – Day Three, Part Two

Note: This week, after realizing that planned (and desperately needed) vacation time coincided with the opening week of Bronco training camp, I decided to head down to Dove Valley for several days this week. I will be providing nightly updates on what we have learned about your 2008 Denver Broncos.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

We are back with our final posting from Bronco training camp. After attending the morning session and taking a lunch break we picked up Turner’s son Jacob and headed back for the afternoon session.

o        We are immediately struck by the differences between the morning sessions and the afternoon session. First (and most important) the grassy berm where we are herded is in the shade, making it feel probably 15 degrees cooler than this morning. Second, the players seem ready for a nice siesta in the shade too. The shoulder pads from this morning are gone and the players are in jerseys and shorts. Looks like Darrell Jackson is safe from getting blasted again.

o        The other thing that we notice is that there are a group of guys who are apparently learning the proper technique for calling a fair catch. Seriously, they are practicing waving their arms while a ball is in the air on the way to them. I don’t know about you, but I learned this highly complex skill about my sophomore year of high school.

o        The punt drill does provide some entertainment in that Jacob has found a new favorite Bronco during the drill. That’s right, Jacob is now a huge fan of the Jugs machine sending the balls skyward.

o        As the players stretch even more casually than in the morning session (if that’s possible), we notice Champ Bailey hanging out in a grey t-shirt talking to Dre Bly while Dre chews on sunflower seeds. Champ is on the sidelines and Dre thinks he is hanging out in the Rockies dugout. Yes, this is going to be a tense practice.

o        Thanks to their status as long-time veterans and Pro-Bowlers both Champ and John Lynch are excused from practice. In fact, I don’t even remember seeing Lynch, hmmm.

o        Well, here you go. For the second time in a week we are posting some breaking news at profootballblogger. That’s right, John Lynch has left Bronco training camp. Apparently unsatisfied with being a part-time starter (the part time when the other team isn’t expected to pass), Lynch is debating about hanging up the cleats.

§         It is hard to have anything but admiration for Lynch. He was the consummate professional; a smart, tough player who made every team he played on better. With the Broncos losing Rod Smith and (possibly) Lynch in the span of one week, there is a huge gaping hole in this team at the position of ‘leader’. It is time for D.J. Williams, Champ Bailey and Jay Cutler to take over or a 0-3 start (a distinct possibility if you ask me) could end this team.

o        Back to the actual action on the field….oh wait, even during practice there wasn’t much action on the field.

o        After stretching, the offense heads to the far field (a perennial PR gripe of mine. Why wouldn’t you have the offense near fans? Turner hypothesizes it is to keep Cutler away from the groupies stalking him from the berm). We are left to watch the defense do walk-throughs against a scout offense.

§         As riveting as this sounds, let me tell you, it isn’t. Basically the players line up in their positions and get yelled at by their coach. The ball is then snapped by the scout team and everyone takes about 5 half-jog, half-walking steps to where the would go based on the play run. We watched this for an hour. Thank goodness for the shade, this would have been torture in the sun.

§         The only thing I learned is that Jarvis Moss is even skinnier than he appears in pads (seriously, he might be less built than LeBron James) and he could be the starting defensive end this year. Even if he is a pass rush specialist, if I am an offense I would just run straight at him every time he comes in and let my tackle barrel over him, regardless of down and distance.

§         The only thing Turner learned was that his boy Larry Birdine playing an offensive lineman through the whole practice didn’t get him much closer to making the team as a defensive lineman.

·         Though the CFL scout sitting near us may have been very impressed. Pack your mukluks Larry.

·         Seriously, how sad is that? The man is a professional football scout and he couldn’t get a better seat than about 10 feet from us?

§         The only things that Jacob learned was that Diet Coke tastes good and makes you feel happy and that none of these guys throw as well as the jugs machine.  

o        The highlight of the practice, for me at least, was when the punt team came out and practiced their blocking assignments. Seriously, this was fascinating. I guess I never really spent a lot (or any) time thinking about it but the up-backs really have to read how the receiving team is going to rush and dictate out the blocking assignments. As with everything in the NFL, these calls are very complex and in code. I spent much of the practice trying to decipher how the code words aligned with the rush patterns. I failed. I guess, I can scrap that job with the New England Patriots.

§         At least I have CFL scouting to fall back on.

o        After the riveting punt practice interlude (a phrase I would have been 94.3% sure that I would never type), we returned to the defensive walk-throughs. Thankfully at this point, Jacob had grown a little tired of the walk-throughs and challenged me to tic-tac-toe. Much like Joshua learned, there are no winners in Tic-Tac-Toe.

o        Suddenly after a short hour and twenty minutes the defense came together, gave a team “Broncos” and headed to the locker room. That was apparently the end of my week at camp with the Broncos. Not exactly going out with a bang.

So, that’s it for me. I hope this has been as fun and informative for you as it has been for me. And you didn’t have to risk skin cancer. Anyway, I am taking the next week off and getting away to enjoy the best thing about living in the west (outside of 10 am college football of course) – the wilderness.

Have a good week and I will check in right around the time we get to see these Broncos play another team. If they are playing at 25% speed in no pads, I would put my money on the Broncos.

There is a chance that we could have a guest poster or two in my absence. Remember, even if something is posted under the name ‘David’ it isn’t me unless I use the secret password: ‘new England clam chowder’.

My Week at Summer Camp – Day Three

Note: This week, after realizing that planned (and desperately needed) vacation time coincided with the opening week of Bronco training camp, I decided to head down to Dove Valley for several days this week. I will be providing nightly updates on what we have learned about your 2008 Denver Broncos.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Welcome back to our exclusive outside-the-ropes, back-row view of Denver Broncos Training Camp. Joined by our Hierarchy of Hate and Roundtable compatriot Turner, we decided to suck it up and go to both ends of the Broncos two-a-days today. As this will be my final day in Dove Valley this week, I decided to break this one into two posts. Today will be the morning session, tomorrow come back for the afternoon session. On to the sights and sounds of Dove Valley:

• On the way in, we check out the mini-Bronco store to see if there are any jerseys we should pick up for Turner’s son who will be joining us this afternoon, figuring maybe he is our ticket to getting a ball and meeting some players. Unfortunately the sale rack is about 90% Travis Henry jerseys (along with an assortment of Javon Walker and Simeon Rice jerseys – wonder why these are on sale?). While there are plenty of basements in the greater Boulder area where a Henry jersey would be highly sought, we both agree it probably isn’t the best jersey for a four year old.
• As we take our spots on the grassy berm (not to be confused with the grassy knoll in Dallas where nothing occurred in 1963), we are entertained by the local ‘security’ in charge of keeping the wild crowd under control. This mostly consists of asking people to put away their phones and keeping them out of the ‘VIP Lounge’. I have high hopes that the ‘Lounge’ has a bar at the back and some waitresses in Bronco cheerleaders to take your order. Alas it is just a square area on the berm at mid-field roped off by red and white striped rope.
  • After a long day we have begun to feel close with the two rope minders, one we called Big Jake and the other whose name we learn is T.J. Big Jake looks disturbingly like the white guy from that Red Stripe commercial who learns to dance and T.J. is a dead-ringer for Boyd Tinsley, Dave Matthews’ violin player (who coincidentally is not on their current tour…hmmm.). Big Jake spends most of the day talking to a blond with big hair in the VIP section. Turner and I are convinced she is there in a desperate attempt to become Mrs. Jay Cutler.
  • For the record, we don’t think she is alone in this goal among the crowd.
• The first highlight from the action on the field is Darrell Jackson getting absolutely blown up on a short pass in the flats. This is noteworthy first because he is a Gator (it is still surprisingly satisfying even in a Bronco uniform) and second with all players in shoulder pads and shorts hitting typically is a nice smack on the shoulders and that is about it. Poor Darrell is the exception, not only does he go airborne but his helmet goes flying! The crowd eats it up, momentarily forgetting that he is probably going to start opposite Brandon Marshall this season.
  • I wish I could tell you who hit him but I have had this problem all week that I get Jamie Winborn (#51) and Nate Webster (#58) confused constantly. Part of it is their similar size (5’11” – 6’0”, 230 lbs) and part of it is the similar roles they have played for the Broncos in recent years: back-up linebackers occasionally seeing defensive plays while being special teams stalwarts. That is pretty much all it takes to confuse me, especially on my third straight morning slowly baking in the sun.
• Speaking of Brandon Marshall, I can’t stress enough how big of a year he could have this season.

NOTE: After the suspension of course. Which brings up an interesting question: what round is he drafted in fantasy leagues with the suspension looming? Here is what Turner and I agree: no suspension – 3^rd round, 2-game suspension – 5^th round, 4 game suspension - 6^th - 7^th round. Interested to hear any other fantasy perspectives).

o       It is amazing how much Cutler looks for Marshall, it was practically a running joke for Turner and I. Every time Marshall split out left, you could almost see the third string corner on the left side deflate, knowing that the pass was coming his way and he was pretty much powerless to stop it.

o       Cutler averaged about 29 passes per game last year. If I had to break down how those 29 passes will be distributed this year (post suspension), I would guess:

o       5 passes – running back out of the backfield (Torain, Young, A.A.)

o       5 passes – tight ends (Sheffler, Graham, N. Jackson)

o       4 passes – slot and other wide receivers (D. Jackson, Stokley, Royal)

o       14 passes – Marshall

o       0 passes – Keary Colbert

o       1 pass – cutest girl in the bar after the game

o       We had several scrimmages again. This time the goal line play was replaced with a four minute drill. Unfortunately, the results were very similar. Lots of (simulated) time for Cutler on his back side.

o       It is never good when your offense faces a 3^rd and 16 in what is supposed to be a hurry up drill.

o       It is even worse when said offense decides to run the ball on that 3^rd and 16.

o       Unless that 4-minute drill was actually held with the offense holding 10 point lead. This point was never clearly articulated to the crowd.

o       To be fair, the offense did sustain a nice long drive at one point after the clocks were turned off. So they have that going for them. One drive for every 5 hours of practice.

o       To separate the four minute drill from the next scrimmage we had our first glimpse of punt coverage (and – spoiler alert! - it won’t be our last). It would be easy to dismiss this as time filler but after the show the offense has put on, the punter could be a highly critical role for the Broncos this year.

o       That is about it for the morning session, other than one unfortunate incident when Turner was taken down by T.J. and Big Jake when he tried to storm the field and have Larry Birdine, the sole Sooner in camp, sign his bare chest. But we don’t want to get into that. It is best for everyone if we try to forget that sight.

We will be back tomorrow to wrap up our time with the Broncos and re-cap today’s afternoon session. I will choose to skip over our lunch when we dominated one of those network trivia games. Krusty, Fred and EHomer had no idea that JTDMac would interrupt their usual game with absolute and total domination.

My Week at Summer Camp – Day Two

Note: This week, after realizing that planned (and desperately needed) vacation time coincided with the opening week of Bronco training camp, I decided to head down to Dove Valley for several days this week. I will be providing nightly updates on what we have learned about your 2008 Denver Broncos. Note #2: Given that I recently celebrated a 33^rd birthday and have been ‘with’ the Broncos longer than some of these players have been alive (Ryan Clady, born: September 6, 1986) I have accepted Mike Shanahan’s offer to long time veterans to only participate in one of the two-a-day practices each day.

Monday, July 28, 2008

• Back for morning number two and it is just as hot and crowded as Sunday morning. What is with that? Don’t these people have anything better to do with their Mondays? Huh? What’s that? Why I am sacrificing for you dear reader that’s why. I am a giver.
• Let’s go back to the running backs
  • I said yesterday that Ryan Torain wasn’t overly impressive; however I will say that today he looked much better. He was quicker to the line, made a single cut and hit the hole. In fact, after Ryan broke off a long run, a starry-eyed optimist could even imagine him as a taller Terrell Davis. Thankfully, I am not a starry-eyed optimist so I saw it as a nice run on the 4^th day of training camp…by a guy with skills to make us forget Travis Henry, Mike Bell, Tatum Bell, Quentin Griffin, Reuben Droughns and Olandis Gary. Damn, that kool-aid tasted really good after a hot day in the sun.
  • My boy A.A., Anthony Alridge, looked good again, cutting back against the grain and busting down the sideline for another long run.
• There was one overriding story in my mind today and that was the match-up of the offense and defense, and the defense’s domination.
  • Let’s start with two interceptions – one for each of Domonique Foxworth and Champ Bailey when they were both able to jump curl routes (which in fairness was practically all the offense ran).
  • When he wasn’t throwing picks, Cutler was running for his life. He would have been on his back on almost every drop back if the defense was allowed to hit the quarterback. The only entertainment was the half of the crowd that thought he had successfully avoided the rush and cheered wildly when he chucked it down field. These poor fans are going to be in for serious disappointment in that first game “How is Jay not getting away from this rush like in training camp? This Raider defense must be really good!”
  • Beside the two long runs above, there was only one highlight for the offense – a long pass to Brandon Marshall on the first play of a #1 offense vs. #2 defense scrimmage. Just a little glimpse of what we can look forward to after Marshall returns from his suspension to begin the season for all of his off-season fun. Sorry fantasy players, I forgot to mention that little fact when telling you how good Marshall looked yesterday. A clever ploy to get you to draft Marshall three rounds too early, or mere stupidity? Guess you will never know.
  • So the real question is: what does the defense’s domination tell us? My guess, not much. We all thought the Broncos had a great defense last year, until they got lit up in the first two pre-season games. So, all we know is that right now the Bronco defense is better than the Bronco offense. Who knows how they stack up against actual other teams.
• That’s it for today. Tomorrow we will be joined by Turner and will actually be sucking it up and sweating through both ends of the two-a-days.

My Week at Summer Camp – Day One

Note: This week, after realizing that planned (and desperately needed) vacation time coincided with the opening week of Bronco training camp, I decided to head down to Dove Valley for several days this week. I will be providing nightly updates on what we have learned about your 2008 Denver Broncos. Note #2: Given that I recently celebrated a 33^rd birthday and have been ‘with’ the Broncos longer than some of these players have been alive (Ryan Clady, born: September 6, 1986) I have accepted Mike Shanahan’s offer to long time veterans to only participate in one of the two-a-day practices each day.

Sunday, July 27th

o       I arrive at Dove Valley 30 minutes early with my Denver Post sports section and a Propel and find a spot high on the tree-lined berm lining the side of the practice field. Despite, expectations that temperatures will reach nearly 100 today, the place is packed. Clearly, I am not the only one that is already over baseball and looking forward to football.

o       As the first drops of sweat say hello, I realize that morning workouts may be a tactical error. I am facing due east into the rising sun and there is nowhere to hide.

o       I am about to begin whining about the folly of drowning in my own pool of sweat while watching 80 enormous humans sort-of, kind-of stretch when a Bronco official comes over and asks a young girl sitting in front of me wearing a Jay Cutler jersey (one of the Jessica Simpson pink ones for the record) if she would like to receive a ball from Jay. She agrees and to a round of applause from the crowd she walks across the field, meets Jay, shakes hands with him and while handing her the ball in his hands, he introduces her to Patrick Ramsey. A Vandy guy and a Tulane guy? There is about a 97.6% chance that girl is marrying a guy who wears a ratty old ball cap, khakis and a polo some day.

o        For the record, big props to the Broncos for making training camp as fan friendly as possible. They now allow you to bring in a personal drink, hand you a roster as you walk in so you know who you are looking at, open up for autographs (not to mention the above little girl). They also sell drinks right on the premises and a bottle of water only costs a buck! If this was Rockies training camp there is no way that water costs anything less than $4.

o       On to the actual play on the field. I have decided to pick a few positions and focus on them each day. Today: running backs, wide receivers and secondary

o       The Running back battle is probably the most interesting position battle in Bronco camp this year.

o        Selvin Young enters as the favorite and didn’t do anything to dissuade that opinion. He played well if not spectacularly. Outside of one move that absolutely embarrassed some poor second string DB and even elicited hoots and hollers from teammates. Those are always fun.

o        Further down the list of possible starters is Ryan Torain, probably the most anticipated 5^th round pick in Bronco history. Ryan looks very impressive in person – he is big and tall (6’1”, 225 lbs) and looks like he should be a star. I have to admit, after hearing about him since mini-camps he was a little underwhelming

§         I’m not sure whether it is his size but he doesn’t look like he is running real hard a lot of the time. He did put one ankle-breaker on a DB but for the most part he seemed to jog up into the line and get swallowed up by the linebackers and linemen.

o        On the other hand, my first sleeper of camp is Anthony Alridge, an undrafted free agent signed out of Houston. He is small (5’8”, 185 lbs) but extremely quick (reportedly a 4.3 40-yard dash). Not only did he look like he was going full speed, there were several times they sent him on a sweep around the corner and he flew past the defense.

§         One of the guys sitting near me, hopes that they can use him as a Glyn Milburn type, a third down specialist, too small to play every down. I have two problems with this. First, clearly this guy is not familiar with a man named Warrick Dunn (5’9”, 180 lbs, 10,181 career rushing yards). Second, while I appreciate the Milburn comparison (if for no other reason than its relative obscurity), can’t we aim a little higher for Alridge? Milburn accounted for less than 700 yards rushing and 1,050 yards receiving in his three years with the Broncos (2 of which occurred in the Wade Philips, so we can’t hold that against him). If we are going to compare him to smaller guys who are much more valuable in point-per-reception leagues….umm…I mean who are dual threats, let’s hope Alridge can play more like W.D. or Brian Westbrook (5’8”, 200 lbs.)

§         Not only was A.A. (as I call him) showing game when he was handed the ball he also got up in front during stretches and got both the crowd and players to start a rhythmic clap and boo the Chargers. Clearly, this guy is ready to play the role of Tulo in an unlikely Bronco up-rising in 2008!

·         Before Turner pulls a groin jumping to write a comment mocking my homerism, I don’t actually expect an unlikely Bronco uprising in 2008.

·         However a few more days in the sun with these guys and I may be convinced/sun stroked into believing it.

o       At the wide receiver position, there were two big off season storylines: the Jerry Springer-esque life of Brandon Marshall and the endless line of re-treads brought in by Shanahan to complement B-Marsh (as someone who I bludgeoned repeatedly calls Marshall).

o        First, just in time for all of those fantasy football drafts, I am happy to report that Marshall showed no signs of any lingering effects from the cut he took to his arm. He looked great today, catching everything and using his size to absolutely abuse Champ Bailey in one-on-one goal line battles.

o        On to the second question, I can tell you who I think will be the one left standing in this game of wide receiver musical chairs. That would be one Keary Colbert formerly of the Carolina Panthers and USC Trojans. Colbert did not have his best day today. He couldn’t get open, seemed to be tentative on where to go and when the ball got to him, he couldn’t catch it.

§         Besides the bad play, he wore long pants during practice, showing a remarkable lack of common sense.

o        One of the other receivers in is Darrell Jackson (or D-Jack to those that despise his underachieving ways in Seattle and San Francisco). I can’t say whether he will become that other receiver, but I will say he has the kickingest beard in camp.

o        I am also withholding opinion on second round pick Eddie Royal. At a minimum I will say he could be a great addition as a slot receiver replacing Brandon Stokley after his inevitable injury.

o        In the secondary much of the focus has been on whether John Lynch’s role will be reduced to mostly running downs with the arrival of Marlon McCree from the Chargers. Well, they may have forgotten about someone as Roderick Rogers was the defensive star today with two tipped ball interceptions.

§         My other sleeper of the draft also made his presence known in the secondary today. Free Agent Christian Morton, looked great both in the one-on-one goal line drills and in the broader seven-on-seven and full team drills.

o        Of course all of these opinions were based on one 2 hour practice. I am sure that by the time the regular season starts these will look almost as bad as that whole ‘the-Giants-are-a-joke thing’ from last year. 

Olympic Ring-around-the-Rosies

We are back this week with another roundtable where we bring 4 different viewpoints together and discuss some random topic and I get to tell the others why they are wrong.

Our topics today?

What is your favorite Olympic sport? What is your least favorite?

I know the Olympics are still a few weeks away but with football starting (and some vacation coming for me – woo hoo!), we are having our own opening ceremonies right here.

So, folks, take it away, Ladies First:

Mrs. S.D: I think my least favorite doesn’t even truly qualify as a sport, or maybe I don’t consider it one. Rock, Paper, Scissors…. seriously??! That’s a sport now?? As much as poker is a sport. Stop showing it on ESPN!! You’re wasting my treadmill time. 

While it isn’t officially recognized during the Olympics, someone decided it would be a good idea to hold the world championships of Rock, Paper, Scissors in China there by piggy-backing on the oldest and most sacred of competitive games. World championships! That means there had to be not only are national and state qualifiers, but probably regional ones as well, like Dodge Ball!  Go balls deep! 

I find it insulting that not only did someone decide that throwing hand signals is anything beyond what you do to determine designated driver or change the cat’s litter box, but that it somehow qualifies as SPORT.  If I’m a sprinter or swimmer or any other athlete that has to train and push themselves to the physical brink just to try to qualify to be and beat the best in the world, I’m a little pissed off.  Heck I’m pissed off now and I can’t run more than 3 miles at a time.Giving it a cute name like Ro Sham Bo does not help it’s case. 

If people don’t consider cheerleading a sport with all it’s coordination, strength and endurance (yes I’m defending a sisterhood here), then there’s absolutely no way anyone can count R-S-P as one either. 

So that’s my least favorite, and for my fave I’ll admit that yes, I’m a total cliche, but it is still gymnastics.  I am a girl after all; one who remembers and idolized Mary lou Retton and went back to the school library week after week trying to check out the book on Nadia Comaneci. Yes I’m aware any points I scored with you for being a free-thinking (and I like to think moderately knowledgable) chic who likes sports just went out the window, but that’s the risk I’m willing to take to own up to what I consider the most captivating competition.  You have the traditional good girl-bad girl dynamic Carly Patterson (or any of the U.S. women really) vs. Svetlana Khorkina; pure drama!  And not the made up kind like on Gossip Girl.  The old fashioned cold war kind.  Love it.

All the flips on the mat, and the grips on the uneven bars, or the landings off the vault….love them all!!!  Go Team U.S.A. Beat those commie tarts!

[S.D.’s Take: So the Missus went off the reservation a little here but if Turner can hype up the ArenaBowl last time, then the Missus is free to take on the ‘ArenaBowl of Olympic sports’. Although as a former professional Ro-Sham-bo’er I am a little hurt by her lack of appreciation for the intricacies of the skill. Poker is actually a very good comparison, as Ro-Sham-Bo’ers must always remember to play their opponent, not their hand. Plus the opportunity to act out the Sylvester Stallone’s classic Over-The-Top can’t be understated. I also know that gymnastics is one of the marquee events of the Olympics and will be shoved down our throats by NBC with nightly primetime broadcasts but I just don’t get into it. I personally think that sports should be decided by athletes – not judges. But as a former cheerleader, clearly the Missus is fine with Paula Adbul deciding whether she is a winner or ‘first loser’.]

Jules: Let me start by saying I love the Olympics!  Growing up in B.F. Iowa, the Olympics were a major event that broke up the monotony that was my childhood.  There was no sport I wouldn’t watch.  But as a result I have lots of biases.  I admit I tend to like the female oriented glamour sports of the Olympics like women’s gymnastics and figure skating.  Beyond that though I love it when the Olympics focuses on athletes who bust their ass for years with no glamour, no money, no groupies, no Wheaties just to be great at what they love to do.  My choices of fave/least fave might not necessarily reflect this bias but that is why I will be raising a glass of Tsingtao in tribute whenever an “Up Close and Personal” segment appears.  Rest in peace, Jim McKay, you will be missed!

Favorite Olympics – Winter

Least Favorite Olympics – Summer

And I liked it better when they were in the same year so you could totally embrace your Olympic spirit for one full year. 

Favorite Summer Olympic Sports

3) Table Tennis – has to be in my top 3. China is favored to sweep the gold here and I wouldn’t live in beautiful Colorado without my Table Tennis background.  Did I mention I recently found old Hawkeye Table Tennis BF on LinkedIn?  Gotta love technology.

2) Synchronized Swimming – some might mock this sport.  I understand.  But seriously how do those girls stay so sparklicious in the water?!?  And I love an Olympic sport where the biggest drug concern is cyanide laced lip gloss!

1) Swimming – OK this one I actually really love for the right reasons.  Those poor American swimmers nearly died in a tornado in Omaha at the trials – and what could be worse than dying in Nebraska. Oh wait – living in Nebraska (ba-dum-cha)! Beyond that these are amazing athletes with minimal fame or groupies unless you are Michael Phelps.  And who doesn’t love the sight of a swimmer fresh out of the pool, glistening in the Beijing sun and smog!  Particularly partial to the butterfly strokers – have you ever tried that?  Seriously thought I was going to die!  Props to my sister for her brief competitive butterfly career before she decided it was better to drink beer. 

Least Favorite (or is it Most Hated?) Summer Olympic Sports

3) Archery – 2 reasons.  First in my one archery experience I got a piece of feather stuck in my finger and it hurt.  Secondly Gina Davis – you have got to be kidding me!  I’ll take a good game of bar darts instead.

2) Tennis – Admittedly a ‘real’ sport unlike some of the other easier choices to mock (if anyone else picks rhythmic gymnastics or trampoline I will be so disappointed!) but how is Olympic tennis any different than all the other tennis events – same people, same rivalries….yawn.  It is full of hot athletes which I totally respect but wouldn’t the tennis fans rather watch a more famed tennis event like the US Open held in NYC aka the center of the Jules universe?

1) Steeplechase – I know my bias indicates I should like this sport but this one just annoys me.  Why would you want to be involved in a sport that required you to jump in a puddle of water and ruin your shoes?  And then they attempt to penalize the one smart guy, favorite Ezekiel Kemboi from Kenya for avoiding the puddles. And this year we’ve finally added women’s steeplechase.  Did my fellow females campaign for this?  Seriously?!?  Let the record reflect that when I go on my walk tomorrow morning I will be steering my cute purple and teal Nikes around all of the puddles I see!  

[S.D. – Let’s start with that last sentence? Come on. It has been 95 degrees in Denver for the last month. The only puddles on the sidewalks were left by that Golden Retriever further up the road. I don’t know where to begin with putting synchronized swimming on favorite sports and a track event on least favorite. While the steeplechase does appear a bit contrived, Jules clearly has never run through the woods in which a tree has fallen across the trail and a small stream must be navigated and it can’t be underestimated how nice that little splash down feels on a blazing hot day on the track. I am good with swimming but anyone who legitimately watches and enjoys synchronized swimming? Well, I am suddenly feeling better about my habit of watching old football games that I know the ending of.] 

Turner:  First off, I find it very cheesy that they are starting the Olympics on 08-08-08.  I’m very confused though because I’m sure they did that for a reason but is it really 08-08-08 everywhere or will it be 08-09-08 in China but they made it 08-08-08 in the US?  If they did that so we could have a cool start date, then that is greatness.  Build everything around the US of A.  Go Red, White and Blue!

Let’s start with the easiest one, and one of them that is the least covered.  Team Handball.  If you haven’t seen this sport, it is greatness.  Water Polo on Land, flying through the air, zinging the ball at 80 mph.  If you haven’t seen or watched it, it is quite exciting and I’m quite positive tickets are still available for every match.  I remember being one of about 3 people in the stands at the US Olympic Festival in 1988 watching this great sport.  Luckily the greatness of the internet will allow me to watch every match of this years tournament, the only downside is that the US team is so bad, they are trying to get into the games by 2040.  The best part here is that Denmark is favored to win, love the Danish Dominance.

Turner’s Top 3:

1 - Team Handball

2 - Trampoline – you have to check this out.  Fascinating and the one sport that I think you are most likely to die at (unless you get drunk during archery / pistols)

3 - 50 Meter Freestyle Swimming – love things that only take 20+ seconds, allows me to hold my attention.   Very sad we won’t have Gary Hall Jr. though.

Table Tennis – LOVE it and the only time in 4 years we get to watch it.

 Now to least favorite:

This is tough because least favorite Olympic sport is one of my favorite overall sports.  Tennis.  I HATE the fact that we had to make an Olympic sport out of something that could just be held at the beach of Key Biscayne during an average week.  Calling this an Olympic sport is just dumb.  Roger Federer / Rafael Nadal, they can play each other every week if they wanted to.  This shouldn’t be something that needs to have people come together every 4 years to determine who is the best.  We can wait for the Legg Mason classic in Washington D.C. a week later to figure that out.

Most of my other hatred of Olympic sports really comes not from the actual hatred but the over commercialization / televising of it.  At least now with the internet and 500 cable channels, we have options but I can only watch Track / Field, Gymnastics, Swimming and Diving for so long before I get bored.  Show me some variety, I sure wish ESPN was covering, I’d be guaranteed to see my Team Handball at 2 am.

Turner’s Olympic Predictions:  Phelps will NOT win 7 gold medals.  He will only win 5 golds and 2 silvers.  Ian Crocker will beat him in the 100 Butterfly and the US won’t win the relay.

[S.D.’s Take: I can’t disagree with Team Handball. As a youngster with an Olympic obsession and a realistic understanding of my athletic limitations, I always said that I wanted to join Team Handball, since no other Americans play, I figured I would be a shoe-in. Little did I know you need to be like six-feet five-inches tall and eastern European. Although I can not condone Trampoline and how does 50-meter swimming get the nod and no love for the track?  Shame on Turner.

Turner, much like most of the most beautiful co-eds at Florida State, apparently doesn’t realize the greatness of track and field.(NOTE: This is the first time that ‘Turner’ and ‘beautiful co-eds from Florida State’ have been used in the same sentence without “is a borderline stalker of”, “could never have” or “joined Mile High Club solo, thinking of” separating them).

I also agree with Tennis. I want my Olympics to be full of real Olympic sports. Well, real Olympic sports and women’s beach volleyball.]

SD: I wish I could come up with some obscure sport that no one cars about but this is too easy. As you may have guessed, my favorite event is in track and field. Yes, for me the Olympics begin and end with the 100 meter dash. I mean how can you really care more about sports in which young girls robbed of their childhood are arbitrarily rated by a bunch of eastern Europeans? Or an NBA All-Star team getting schooled by a whole team of Manu Ginobilis? Or guys in tights hugging each other and trying to get the other one on the floor? Or a bunch of freaks using new suits to swim faster than anyone ever has? And don’t get me started on Dara Torres. Sometimes the word ‘unbelievable’ should be used literally and pessimistically.

No the beauty of the 100 yard dash is its simplicity. There is no strategy it is just run…as fast as possible…for as long as you can. That’s it. It is something we can all relate to. We have all been trying to figure who is the fastest in the neighborhood since we learned to run. At least at my elementary school, the most important event of field day was the dash. Speed was and always will be king.

Sure I am a little biased as I used to know Linford Christie (100-meter Olympic Gold Medalist 1992) – one of my favorite personal name dropping stories – and have my boy Walter Dix (the man who almost single-handedly has provided every great moment in FSU sports in the last 3 years) competing this year. But there is nothing better than the 30-seconds just prior to the race and the 10 seconds of the race.

On the flip side is Rhythmic Gymnastics and Synchronized Swimming. These ridiculous wastes of time are everything that the 100 is not. They are decided by a bunch of people in a way that no one can understand. Subjective? Who knows? Recognizing subjectivity would require understanding how these sports are scored.

Raise your hand if you have ever gone out in the backyard with your friends to see who can twirl their ribbon the best? Or the last time you were at the pool, you and your girlfriends got together and tried to spin together perfectly while treading water?

NOTE: if you just raised your hand. Put it down. Now. Look around. Make sure no one saw you and quietly slap yourself a couple times.

While the winner of the 100-yard dash is quite simply ‘The fastest man/woman in the world’ what could you call the winner of Rhythmic Gymnastics? ‘The best ribbon twirler in the world’? That isn’t quite impressive. What about the winners of synchronized swimming (and don’t get me started on individual synchronized swimming)? ‘The most synchronized water dancers in the world’?

Thankfully, NBC is smart enough to realize there are about 4 people that care about these sports – who are often too busy at Michael’s to watch sports – and have hopefully banished any coverage to some mid-morning, mid-week slot on the Bravo network.

Around the World in 800 Words

I have been so pre-occupied following the round-the-clock drama that is Brett Favre’s unwillingness to let the spotlight move on to someone else that I have ignored all kinds of great sports action. Let’s check in with the sports world at large before we (happily) get immersed 100% in the world of football with training camp opening on Friday.

o       This just in, in late breaking news (see I am like a real blogger!) Jeremy Shockey was traded to the Saints today. While on paper this trade makes perfect sense for both the Giants (who had Kevin Boss help win the Super Bowl last year in Shockey’s absence) and the Saints (who even resorted to Eric freakin’ Johnson scoring touchdowns last year at tight end), am I the only one that thinks the combination of Jeremy Shockey and New Orleans isn’t the best idea? Didn’t the Saints see the clips of him at the Super Bowl with about 14 ‘red plastic cups’ (if you know what I mean, and I think you do) lined up in front of him? Can we just scrap the whole Hard Knocks thing and have HBO follow him around the French Quarter for the first month of the season?

o       I guess Shockey in the French quarter seems like a good idea in a world in which golfers are now the toughest athletes in the world. First, Tiger played 91 holes on two stress fractures and a torn ACL – any single one of which would keep an NFL player out for the better part of a season – and now Padraig Harrington blasts through the cold winds to win the British Open with a sprained wrist. I could try all day, every day for an entire year and I wouldn’t make that approach shot he made on 17. A toast of a hand drawn Guinness to you, Padraig. SLAINTE!

o       Locally in Denver, we are currently dealing with the demise of two teams at the same time.

o        The Rockies have clearly reverted back to their pre-2007 ways of alternating glimpses of hope (3-game sweep of the Pirates) and embarrassment (8 runs in the first inning to the Dodgers tonight). But the Monforts are being smart to wait until after the Broncos camp starts before beginning to shed every valuable piece of Rocktober, let your fan base get re-united with their first love before ripping their hearts out. So long Brian Fuentes and your Lamar Latrell throwing style.

§         The other hot trade rumor is Matt Holliday going somewhere. To me, this would be a huge mistake on the Monforts’ part. First off, he is the most popular Rockie now that Todd Helton has officially hit the point where memories of his play outshine his current play. Second, given Holliday’s home and away splits the last couple years, there is no chance the Rockies could get full value for him. Killing your few remaining die-hards for more prospects is a quick way to ensure that you lose your fan base completely.

o        Just down Wewatta Street from Coors Field, we are dealing with the Nuggets crying uncle on the 2009 season four months before first tip-off. Letting Edjuadro Najera go, is understandable, if unpopular in my neighborhood. Sure he brought enthusiasm and energy, but then so does my brother’s retriever, Carson. And Carson would score almost as many points on a nightly basis as Eddie did for a few handfuls of treats and an occasional walk. The more inexplicable move was sending Marcus Camby for a half finished beer and a couple sticks of gum. I know, his was the only contract that was remotely attractive to other teams and another year of paying the luxury tax while (at best) winning one opening round playoff game was not appealing to Stan Kroenke but did the Nuggets really need to trade the only player who cared on defense and actually tried to be a good guy on top of that? I guess maybe that is what got him sent out of town. All of that defense and being a good guy made him some sort of poison in the locker room.

§         I would like to thank the Nuggets for saving me countless hours of watching and stressing throughout the regular season next winter. Fully prepared for at best a .500 record and definitely no playoffs, I feel no need to invest any time in this team.